Sunday, November 04, 2007

Untitled.

Have you ever asked yourself this question: "Why do I blog?" I've been asking myself, and sometimes I really don't know what's the use of blogging when no one reads, when you're the only one who understands what you are writing, when some personal things are just meant for the private eye, when some thing are just meant to be seen by ONE person... Okay, that aside, I shall blog about me, myself and I.. Anyhow, it's gonna be a random post, so the thoughts may be jumbled up. Therefore the title -Untitled.

I think I'm suffering from insomia because I can't sleep well at night (like when it's time to sleep).. I end up tossing in bed or having bad dreams. Sometimes I'm just physically on the bed, physically sleeping, but I'm still concious.. Get what i mean? That's why I fall asleep elsewhere.. in lectures, on the bus..

My eyes feel like they are popping out even as I'm writing this post. I took a nap just now, BUT just as I was entering into Dream land, my auntie came to my room to wake me up for dinner. SIGH. I'm half awake, yet half sleeping.

I conclude that I am extremely stressed. That's why I can't sleep properly. My exams are in ten days. And I have a lot, and i mean A LOT of unfinished business to do. *screams out loud* I really need God's grace mann.. My body is reacting to the stress.. My hair is messy (ahem). My pimples are coming out. My back isn't giving me a good time either. I have been having back problems and only recently did it become very painful and tight (still bearable, but it sucks to be able to feel the tension). My physiotherapist says that my back is like a block of wood. And I need to get it corrected after my exams. (OUCH.) I tell you, it's seriously super pain when she tries to crack my back or add pressure onto my back by "massaging" it. SIGH. I wish I could have a relaxing massage, not a painful one.

I've been shopping online. Erm, I thought I could relieve stress.. And boy did I go mad.. heh. There are so many things I want to buy!! But I have limited $$. hurhur. I shall shop till I drop after my exams. LOOKING FORWARD.

Sometimes I wonder where my friends are.. Am I alone in this world... I feel as though I've lost my closest girlfriends.. Like none of them bother about me any more.. I wish and I wish we were still as close as before.. I wish we were still young and innocent.. I wish we could be each other's priority like we were in the past.. I wish we could go shopping together.. But I guess things change when we grow up? But I thought they always say true friends will always stay by your side? (I know you will stay by my side, but i need assurances. I really do.) I really feel super lonely sometimes.. REALLY.. Will you support me in whatever decisions that I make?

This week's camy was very meaningful. Manrong shared about this: Sometimes we are so caught up with doing every other thing (going for rehearsals, doing sound checks, practising, work.. blah blah blah..) ... but we miss out the MOST important thing of all.. and that is the presence of God. So she asked the team to think about this, "Because You love me..." and verbalise our thoughts during prayer time... because she says that whatever we verbalise might encourage someone else. So here's things the team shared and blessed me.

Because You love me... You send Jesus to die for my sins; You have shown your grace and mercy even though I fail you; You made me; You gave me opportunities to serve You; You gave me talents and abilities to serve You; You chose me to be Your child; I need not find love anywhere else in the world; I can love others; I am brought into Your family; You give me strength...

In conclusion, let me end with this song.

None But Jesus
Brooke Fraser - Hillsong

Verse:
In the quiet in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call I won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose

Chorus:
There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

Verse 2:
In the chaos in confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When YOu call I won't delay
This is my song through all my days

Bridge:
All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord
Forever more

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P/S: Daddy just told me we're going Korea at the end of the year. *yay!*

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P/SS: Food for thought

Aren't the muffins cute? And of course, they spell out my beautiful name -Yi. Cheryl (Ng) made them for me. YAY. Thankee. It made my day. I could feel your love in the muffins. haha.

We( Wing, cheryl [chia], Joanna and I) ate this at Fish & Co. over lunch yesterday. Cute eh. It's a cookie with cookies and cream ice cream, coated with strawberry sauce and chocolate sauce. Yummy. It's called "tomb-stone", to commemorate Halloween. heh.