Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Reflections...
I am inspired by an email cons sent to me last night. Something that her friend blogged about - school and grades.
As I approach the end of the semester (my first paper starts tomorrow), I reckoned it'll be nice to do some reflections.. since this blog has been pretty much dead...
The semester started off with excitement. I was excited to start school, to meet my friends, to learn new stuff. I was given ALL the modules that I registered for.
Then came all the email blasts on recruitment talks. I applied for the first one just to expand my horizons and expose myself to what was available. It started off with a pure motive, but it ended up "killing" me. I became obssessed with it and find myself registering for every available recruitment talk. And at the end of every talk, I become disappointed and disillusioned. I became unhappy with my grades... The more I spoke to my friends, the more I was gripped by fear. I feared for my future.
It didn't help that my friends around me were all excelling in school. And I was just mediocre. Mediocre by the world's standards. I remembered getting Bs for my first sememster and I was elated. I was literally jumping for joy. But when I started to compare with my friends, discontentment set in. Bs wil never be enough.
This semester, I was reminded of God's faithfulness. I overlooked the things God has done for me... How I entered STC (if it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have known the three musketeers who brought me to church)... How I ended in NJC (and survived)... How I got offers from all 3 universites... and ended up in Economics... How I was chosen to go to Shanghai and how I secured and internship with Standard Chartered... Whao, as I look back, how could I keep from singing God's praises? How could I ever say enough? Why should I worry about my next phase in life?
I will never be good enough if I benchmark myself against the world's standards... I learned to find my security in God, not in my grades. I may not be doing well in school (based on what I feel is good enough), but I believe in God's purpose. I want to boast not about my own strengths, but God. I am still going to study hard in school, I am determined to do my best for the 2 final semesters. I am going to continue to seek God for my future. Pray with me.
Here's my short testimony of God's faithfulness and goodness and God's grace. :)
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7:04 PM
