Sunday, July 16, 2006
I've been blogging everyday. So you see, I am really bored and I have absolutely nothing to do. My soon-to-be roomie asked me last week, "Has the past 7 months been meaningfully spent?" I really had no anwswer to it.. Maybe I should take this time to really think and reflect about my life and do something about it. Maybe I should take this time to build stronger relationships with my family and friends. I shall enjoy this privilege while it last! I mean, I seriously think I would not have so much time to bum around once school starts! I am afraid! I am afraid I would move in the wrong direction-away from You. I am afraid of the distractions. I am afraid I would lose my passion for You. I am afraid I would lose my focus. I am afraid of meeting new people. Haaa.. I think I'm just too comfortable with the people around me? So, am I worrying or am I just being conscious of what may happen and hope to avoid it at all cost? Do pray for me okay!
Aye. I was supposed to run today. We were supposed to run as a team today. But only 2 end up participating in the Singapore Shape Run 06. Much apologies to christin and kavi for having to fly your aeroplanes. The rest of the team ought to apologise too! hehe. I was too exhuasted. I still am. (I don't know with what. Ironic isn't it? Too much time at home but too tired? Wonder what I've been up to.) And to chee may for troubling you to sign up for the run. Anyhow, I collected the goodie bag just now. I mean I paid for it, so might as well take it. Whao! I am shocked with what's in it! Expensive stuff! Amongst the goodies are a nike towel, the mini nike bottle, a pair of socks, 2 shape magazines (May 06 and June 06), many many vouchers to pamper myself, vitamins, slimming pills (haha!), sachets of shampoo and body wash... etc. And a COOL handbag that contained the goodies! HEH. What a steal.. I think I paid $10 for these? (or was it $25?)
I've decided to stay at home today. Original intention was to stay at home and REST. Perhaps write letters to a few people and have some time alone with God. But guess what!? I've already wasted 3 quarters of the day doing nothing! I am going back to sleep again.. HEH. I need to rejuvenate and get ready for my camp!
I'm pretty excited about the upcoming camp. I love camps. Stupidly, I registered for 2 consecutive camps.. without even considering how tired I would be after the first. Oh weeeellls, all for the fun of it! Heh. And you know what, I bravely signed up for the camps even though I do not know anyone else going. But, thank God abercrombie is going for this one.
Sigh. If only I have had that much enthusiasm in signing up for church youth camps. I remember I was forced to join last year's camp. I never had the intention to sign up because ALL my closer friends were not going. So, it made me think about my motives.. Was I just going to the camp to stick with my friends? Then again, the committee would not place me in the same group as my friends. So what's the diff? What's so different between going to the camp alone and going with my friends? For the sake of familiarity I presume. Hmmm... Maybe it's time I start to get to know the youths better? To love them more? Like what Joey shared over cell, his batch was able to grow and serve the Lord so faithfully up till now because they had big jie jies and big kor kors who watched over them and guided them along. So.. is it my turn now to be the big sister to the youths now? Maybe it's time to move towards the "out pouring" end instead of remaining at the "receiving" end. HAHA. I am laughing at my own statement. Not sure if I am even ready to turn my words into action. Need to do some check up. HEH.
And... to b2 and budd, thanks for sharing how you felt... I am thankful. You know, God is just so comical. Just as you thought you were in the situation alone, He made us feel the same way about each other, about the friendship, about the situation we are in. To b2, our friendship has been tested more than ever this year.. Whao... but I am happy to hear that there is mutual love for each other. We know it, yea? To budd, you know how happy i was to see you smile yesterday? It really meant a lot. I just wanna let you know that we are all in it together. Although I may not have fully understood what you've went through/are going through.. I really want to be there for you. So, don't leave me out yeah!
Okay, my thoughts are all out. Now, please pray that we would all enjoy ourselves and do pray for the health of my fellow camp mates too! Oh yesh, for good weather as well! May this camp be an injury-free one! Miss my presence on this blog! =) Now, it feels as though no one is reading. Because no one tags... But it's alright. Because there is not much to comment on either. I believe you all are silent readers. HA. HMMM.. I wonder.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
There is just so much I wanna blog about. But i guess i'll just stick to one entry a day. Not everyone reads my blog everyday either... so it's not good to blog too much? Like if you only come once a week and you suddenly see 4 long entries. You wouldn't want to read all would you? Or rather, you just want to get over and done with them right? That means, everyone would naturally tag on the latest entry. HA. Right.. I don't know what I am writing right now. Because i just can't get my mind to think properly... I don't know how to feel right now. I feel sad.
Random thoughts about us..
I may not fully understand what you are going through right now.
I know that you are hurt and disappointed. But I know that I can never fully emphatise with you.
It feels like we are world's apart because we are undergoing different struggles right now.
It wasn't like that in the past. Because we went through secondary school and jc life all the same.
Sigh, there's this so near yet so far feeling.
Although you are just infront of me, there is just this invisible conversation barrier.
I do not know what to say when I see you.
What if i say something wrong?
I feel helpless.
I felt that I haven't been there for you.
I am genuinely concern for you.
I hope you know that.
Somehow, I'd rather you be honest with me.
I'd rather you tell me how you feel.
I want to be in your shoes.
I want to go through this with you. But it takes two hands to clap.
I am ready to listen. But are you ready to share?
Maybe I've done something wrong.
Like you said, you desperately need to talk to me.
And I desperately want to hear from you.
I applaude you for masking your feelings. I know deep down you feel like crap.
I am sorry for being so insesitive.
I am sorry I don't have the courage to pray for you on the spot.
But you know I cover you in my personal prayers.
As reality sinks in, it really bites.
Now's the time to let go and let God.
It has been a tough journey for you.
But don't give up yeah?
Cling on to God dearly.
Remember I want to be there for you....
I just wanted to say I really treasure you...
*you may refer to a number of people.
YOu may not be reading this right now.. maybe you never will because you haven't read my blog for a long time! You never tagged (perhaps once in a blue moon) I wanted to let you know that it makes me sad to see you this way. I want to see your smile again. I want to see the cheery side of you again.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Perfect day, perfect weather. Perfect for my first driving lesson. =) Whooo... driving in an auto car feels like I am in a "live" arcade! Not that playing in an arcade is not real la. What I am trying to say here is that the car moves even without depressing the accelerator! Ha. Okay, I sound like a mountain turtle here... but I am really amused! My parents/ my bro didn't tell me the auto car works this way. *shucks, i really sound like i just returned from "shua tao" (mountain top in teochew)* Anyway, it feels good to be behind the wheel!
tag: see, this is Joey's reaction when I told him I am learning auto (can't really remember the exact words though) : WHY?! No Kick. You won't get to experience how difficult it is to pick up driving. 4 limbs doing 4 different things. ... ...
Precisely! To save the trouble of being traumatised by my own driving (the book says the vehicle may jump and jerk or surge forward if you don't control the pedals correctly) if I were to learn manual, I signed up for auto! haha.
My meetings with zhang lao are always enriching. I am starting to enjoy what I am doing now. Thank you for helping me to get on the right track!
Perfecto!
Perfect number 3! I highlighted my hair today. heh. Dad joked upon seeing the hair, "You swam a lot today eh." haha.. so funny. I don't think it looks that bad. Even if it does, please tell me it looks nice when you see it! (erm, actually I'd rather you be honest)
Not so perfect... Somehow I feel like I am going to fall sick AGAIN. This would be my 4th time this year! If I fall sick again, it's gonna be the 3rd consecutive month falling sick on the second-third week! Raaaah. Why am I so weak? I never fell sick so often. Maybe I miss school too much. HA.
Anyway, if you have time, watch the 7 o'clock show screened on channel 8 every night. Quite hilarious. On top of that, a lot of values to learn to. =)
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
What a day... It ended with me doing some self reflection.
I wanted to get a new handphone. The only excuse I could give was that my contract is going to end this July and M1 allows me to upgrade my handset. Soooooo.. I did the girl thing (the way some girls talk to their parents when they want to get something.)
Me: Daddy, I called M1 already. And they said I am allowed to upgrade my handset.
Dad: Cheap phone, immediate. Expensive phone, No. *a few days before I eyed on a phone, Dad saw it too.*
Me: Okay. Let's go and get a cheap phone tonight. Shall we? Shall we?
Dad: Give me 10 good reasons why
Me: Eh, because the contract is ending. We can upgrade it. We need to move on with new technology. This phone doesn't have blue tooth. The phone memory is too small. Because you love me. You love me. You love me. You love me. And You love me.
*those were my 10 reasons. I don't think any is valid*
Dad: Have you asked mummy about it?
Me: No.. heh.
Dad: What if she screams
Me: Eh, you make the decision! Ultimately, you give the green light.
Dad: No, you got to go through her first.
Me: Arights.
Mummy reluctantly said okay. So, I was very happy indeed. I was so excited because they have agreed on it! I kept looking at the clock hoping it'll strike 8 faster so we could make our way down to Jurong Point to get my phone. =)
heh. so at 8, we made our way to JP...
Mum to dad: Why must you always change her phone? You know boy bought his own phone. You didn't pay for him. He has been buying so many things himself. *points to my brother's addidas sneakers* When he went to bangkok, he didn't even take a single cent from us. Girl leh, we were her walking ATM in hong kong.
Dad thought about it and replied: Ya hor. So we shouldn't get the phone for her right?
Mum: I just wanted to tell you that you are biased.
And the conversation went on in the car. Soon, my excitement became guilt. The converstation made me realised how pampered I am. It got me to think about how I have not been counting my blessings. Dad disciplined me by saying, "You've been asking for too much. You have everything you need and you still want more. You are indulging too much you know." Dad named some stuff that I own(my camera, my ipod, my room, my e piano, my footwears, my bags...). And he kept asking me questions that I had no answer to. But the questions really made a lot of sense. IS this materialism? Have I been enticed by material goods? Gosh, maybe God is really reminding me about this area. How apt, yesterday's QT was about Greed and Needs.
Because Dad kept his promise, he bought a phone for me. SHUCKS... I really feel so bad. Then he said "This is going to be the last phone I am going to get for you. Next time you have to buy your own phone." Whao... it finally dawned upon me that I am a big girl aka young lady already! Yet, I know my parents still love me. I am so gonna treasure this new phone. Whenever I look at it, I'll remember how blessed I am. I will try to manage my own finances from now on!
Thank you mum and dad for this valuable lesson.
Thank you God for my parents. Thank YOu for using them to tell me something.
On a lighter note, I obtained my PDL! Going to have my first practical lesson tomorrow. heheh. How exciting..
Monday, July 10, 2006
7 random things about me
1) I am shy! (I am only friendly to people I know. heh)
2) I'm no good at voicing what I feel.
3) I am bad at counselling/helping people. (Because I feel so helpless. I don't know how to respond to situations. I'm only good at listening)
4) I don't know what I want. (But I'll trust in God's plans)
5) My childhood dream: to be a dentist! (it'll still remain a dream..)
6) I have high pain tolerance. Therefore I like pain (physical pain)! (yeah right, eh, maybe a little.)
7) My nose bleeds at least once a year. (haha. especially after I drink Brands Essence of Chicken)
7 random songs at the moment
1) Collide - Howie Day
2) You and Me - Lifehouse
3) Try - Nelly Furtado
4) Who am I - Casting Crowns
5) Much of You - Steven Curtis Chapman
6) Girl Next Door - Saving Jane
7) I'm Sorry - Craig David
7 things I like the most
1) The company of my family and friends
2) Shopping!!! =) =) =) A girl gotta do what she likes to do.
3) My accessories. (my earrings and necklaces)
4) MONKEYS. I am in love with them.
5) Travelling.
6) New experiences. I would like to try something new (eg. sky diving!)
7) God's underwater creation (I've only been underwater once though. But I want my diving license so I can visit it whenever I want to. *smiles widely*)
7 things that scare me
1) Lizards!!!!!!!!!! (I scream whenever I see them.)
2) Thunder
3) Being alone. I hate being alone... Therefore, (I do not like...point 4)
4) Eating a fish (don't want to choke on fishbones eh!)
5) Losing someone I love
6) Rejection.
7) Sowing unwanted discord between friends.
7 things I say the most
1) Ohhh I see..
2) Huh..
3) Really ar?
4) Coool!
5) Whatever.
6) Crap..(What the crap..)
7) Aiyoh!
7 people to do this
1) Anybody who wants to do it
2) Someone who doesn't know what to blog next
3) Someone who is bored
4) Someone who needs to reflect over your life.
5) If you're reading this, do it!
6) Yeah You!
7) And You!
Good job, yi.
I've done it. So it's your turn! hurhur.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Great.. I'm slightly burnt. We baked in the sun for about 2 hours before the parade started. Perspired and got irritated because we were just so sticky. But it was so windy at night!
We were there for one purpose- and that was to support our fellow cell mate, Joel Chan! Whoooo... he was in the commando contingent. Marching! ha. When the whole commando group came out, the 5 of us were screaming his name out loud. haaaa. So funny. People stared at us. But we were just being ourselves- crazy and carefree. We needed that. I enjoyed the company! Really! Thanks gals..
Oh yesh! Lord, thank you for the good weather. I'd rather be baked than soaked!
Say CHEESE!
Friday, July 07, 2006
who am i
casting crowns
Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to knowmy name, would care to feel my hurt
Who am I? That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way, For my ever wandering heart,
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling, Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.
Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again,
Who am I? That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me,
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling, Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
I've devoted 17 days of my life to the childcare centre. It has been a great experience.. heh. Not only have I met cute (playful, active, highly responsive) [notice the italics. heh. In this childcare we need to be Positive people. Haha] kids, I think I have developed patience and become more domesticated (more like a maid uh). All in all, I really enjoyed myself. Kids are really a delight.
Oh wells! I am officially out of job! Whar... I was happily shopping with my friends until I received this message...Once again, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to work with kids. This has also allowed me to observe certain facts about siblings. The difference between having an elder sister and an elder brother. I will blog about it soon!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Found this in my drawer. Cj shared it with me last year. Thought i would like to share it with you too. heh.
Wow! Indeed He who is in me is greater than He who is in the world. Amen! Thank you for sharing this with me cj! I'm blessed.
Will you choose to say:
Oh God, why is my problem so big? or
Hey problem I have a big God.
hah! i don't know why i stayed up this morning to watch soccer! i mean, i have never done it before. heh. but it was quite an experience last night with some of my cell mates. Zhi was so into the match! ha. she made watching the soccer match more exciting and hilarious! ha. I enjoyed myself.
AWww.. many were disappointed with the outcome of the England-Portugal match! England could have won yeah! So many wasted opportunities. All Rooney's fault! *oppps, in a team game, we must not blame anyone.* Itwas so saddening to see the England team tearing after the whole thing was over. And on the other side of the field, the Portugese cheering and jumping for joy.
This reminded me of the 2 netball matches we had against AJC and RJC during the semi finals in 2004 and 2005 respectively. We were that close to getting into the finals. We lost not because we were lousier in terms of skills or teamwork, but we lost because we were weaker mentally. Oh wells, I really miss you girls! I miss the tears and how we've supported each other. I miss the 8.8 km run. I miss being in team nj. *NJ WOOSH!*
Anyway, thank you sharon for organizing this soccer watching thing! We should have more of these fellowship activities. =)
I'm going to watch the Italy VS Germany match too! Cute guys! Anyone want to come over to watch?
